Day 5-Consuelo gets frisky

To get everyone up to speed, mis amigas Maggie Hooley, Bridget Hooley, Ali Schadow and I are in Spain on May term studying abroad. They take one class, I take two. We're living with a host family that is only one woman, her name is Consuelo who is about 78. When we first met Consuelo we knew from the start we were going to have a very hilarious time. She made sure to kiss our cheeks at least 5 times before we even got into the taxi. If you're reading this you understand my humor and I laugh at almost everything, but this is unreal. She immediately was dragging me down the sidewalk and touching our faces saying how excited she was. Today we had lunch in the living room with her and the girls decided to convince her that I'm a famous swimsuit model in the United States. After Maggie and Bridget were forced to sing because of Ali, Consuelo decided she had to ask if we had padding in our bras. By doing so, she pulled her shirt to show her old flabby white tummy and green holy bra. Bridget swears she caught a glance of a nip but I guess the rest of us looked away too quickly.I didn't know what to do so I looked away at the tv while Ali was kicking me from under the table. I didn't realize eating each day with her would be the highlight of our days. We now see that our days are about to get a bit more spicy with Consuelo. Consuelo makes some sick nasty food but I guess it's better than half of the other families. About the second day in she told the girls that "Andrea will eat the food and like it." Consuelo likes to talk mad smack about me to the girls because she knows I don't have a clue what she's saying yet. If I did, I'd probably clock her right in the face. (I'm kidding) Brock and Eric haven't been fed yet I don't think. We sneak food from our house and bring it to them. Yesterday the girls, Matt, Drake and I went to the market to get food, of course I'd pick the food that has to be put in the fridge and she caught us. (She gets upset that we don't eat her disgusting food and apparently even more pissed that we went to get food so we don't starve.) My yogurt will probably be thrown away in a matter of minutes. It's a good thing we had a process to get yogurt to my room for after lunch. Bridget and Ali went to the kitchen, grabbed it and then Ali shoved it under the table to me, unfortunately I was wearing shorts so I couldn't bring it myself and Consuela's pet, Maggie brought it here. I'm really hoping one of these times Maggie gets in trouble from her-I thought being hung over and throwing up in the bathroom the next morning would do it...but she found it hilarious and continues to worship the ground Maggie walks on. Bridget is up on her list too. Yesterday Bridget was skyping Matt and was showing him the apartment...Consuelo has a private closet that we were supposed to know we couldnt go in. I'm sure she told us the first day but we missed the memo. Consuelo the devil caught Bridget and chased her out of the kitchen. It was probably the one of the best situations I've witnessed. She recently told us to stop trespassing. There is much more to this and a ton to come, we'll keep you posted.